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Kael'thas Sunstrider down!

posted 25 Jun 2012, 23:49 by Wipus Frequentus

Prince Kael'thas Sunstrider likes his own voice. That smug condescending voice that reminds us all that we have no choice but to listen, this is a man that looks good in a dress and he knows it. That trademark maniacal blood elf laughter that reminds us that fun is never shared on equal terms.

It seemed like years of forcing our way through the fluorescent pink halways of Tempest Keep, but at last we found ourselves eyeball to eyeball with Prince Kael'thas. The myth, the legend, the man who's statue for so long has haunted us when hopelessly trying to find our way around the labyrinths of Silvermoon City. He was not impressed, and we didn't give him much reason to be.

He sends his gimps at us for his amusement. Horribly crippled and single-minded beings swinging some of the most dangerous weapons ever crafted. "His best advisors" he called them, yet their advice seem to consist solely of things like "pick a random enemy and walk very slowly towards him while being pelted with arrows" or "throw some bombs around". Mercilessly we exploit their weaknesses, only to fall prey to our own. There we were, killing slowly and safely, completely unaware that the clock is ticking.

Like the perverted puppeteer he is, he animates weapons and throws them at us. He sends his advisors again, twice as strong and all at the same time. We were overrun. We were blindsided. Swamped. Shocked at the sight of a male tauren trying to chase down and tank a hovering shield. It was a trying time, many painful hours spent splattered over the semi-transparent floor of the Prince's throne room.

In the darkest moments, a hero is called for. Genj, the High Warlord steps forth to urge us on. Some great leaders lead with kindness and empathy. Others with ruthlessness. Genj does it with relentless abuse. "You're terrible", he tells us. "Go to Boctok", he tells us. "My mother could out-DPS the lot of you", he assures us. We rise to the challenge. We improve. We learn to kill with dispatch, with accuracy and most of all with determination.

From there on the challenges that seemed so daunting suddenly shrink to a comfortable bite-size. Trivial things like when to kill eggs and when to kick him in the princely jewels to interrupt his spells. And how do you actually throw a heroic strike in a zero gravity environment? The Prince is shaking. He knocks us out a few times more, but the respect is gone. One more try and he collapses in a heap, staining the glass of his perfectly shined floors with royal Sin'dorei blood.

The last laugh, dear prince, is on you!